We all know the feeling. You or your child wants something so badly—a goal, an opportunity, a long-hoped-for event—and then it doesn’t happen. Disappointment can sting, but for kids, it’s also a crucial part of learning resilience. At Lion + Owl, we believe that the way we respond to these moments can help our kids develop the tools they’ll need to navigate life’s ups and downs.
If you've ever wondered how to talk to your child when things don’t work out as planned, you’re not alone. Research shows that 90% of kids look to their parents for cues on managing emotions. This means that when we handle setbacks in a calm and constructive way, we’re teaching our kids valuable life skills that will help them navigate future challenges with strength and optimism.
Here’s how we can turn moments of disappointment into meaningful lessons and help our children develop resilience.
The Power of Resilience: Why It Matters
Resilience isn’t just about "bouncing back." It’s about learning to adapt, grow, and maintain hope even when things don’t go as expected. Studies reveal that children taught resilience skills are 47% more likely to approach life with a positive outlook, even during tough times. This optimistic attitude doesn’t come naturally to most people, but it can be nurtured—and that process begins with us.
By modeling resilience and offering our children simple strategies to process disappointment, we’re setting them up for a lifetime of growth, adaptability, and inner strength. Here are some simple, science-backed steps to guide you and your family through these moments.
3 Steps to Help Kids (and Parents) Navigate Disappointment
1. Pause and Breathe
When something doesn’t go our way, the immediate reaction can often be emotional. Taking a moment to pause and breathe can be a powerful way to center ourselves and keep calm. Studies show that just a few deep breaths can lower stress by 20% or more, helping to bring down emotions so that we can talk and think more clearly.
For parents, this first step is key. Model this by explaining to your child, “Let’s take a few deep breaths together.” This not only helps them calm down, but it also provides a useful tool they can use anytime they feel overwhelmed.
2. Talk About the Experience
Once you’re calm, it’s time to open up a conversation. Explain in simple, honest terms what happened and why it might feel disappointing. Acknowledging feelings—whether it’s sadness, frustration, or even anger—helps kids process what they’re experiencing. Kids who are encouraged to name and express their emotions tend to have healthier emotional habits.
Invite your child to share how they feel and validate those feelings. Phrases like “It’s okay to feel upset” or “I feel that way sometimes too” create a sense of safety and help kids learn that their emotions are valid, even when they’re hard.
3. Reframe and Set New Goals
One of the most powerful parts of resilience is seeing setbacks not as failures but as opportunities to learn and grow. Explain that life doesn’t always go as planned, but that every experience can help us move forward. Encourage them to look at what they’ve learned and explore how they might approach a similar situation in the future.
For example, you could say, “Even though this didn’t work out, we can try something different next time.” This helps kids build a growth mindset, viewing challenges as part of the journey, not the end of it.
Why This Matters for Our Kids’ Future
When we teach our children these resilience skills, we’re doing more than just helping them handle disappointment in the moment. We’re giving them tools to thrive throughout their lives. Children who learn to manage emotions, reframe setbacks, and set new goals are more likely to be adaptable, empathetic, and self-assured in the face of future challenges.
At Lion+Owl, we’re dedicated to helping parents support their kids’ growth and self-confidence. From creating comfortable, inclusive clothing to offering tips for positive parenting, our mission is to help you raise resilient kids who feel empowered to navigate the world.
Let’s Be Brave Together
Join our Lion+Owl community for more tips on raising resilient kids in a challenging world. What are some strategies you use to help your child bounce back from disappointment? We’d love to hear from you—share your thoughts in the comments below or connect with us on social media!
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